Death was familiar for several reasons; life was harsh and cruel, medical standards were low, infant mortality was extremely high by todays standard, life expectancy hovered at around 40 years. As a result, death was a common occurrence, witnessed by everyone in the community on a regular basis and expected. A warning of coming death; a chest cold, festering wound, injury, gave an individual time to prepare for death in a manner that was familiar to him and the society in which he lived.

Having first made arrangements for the dispensation of his worldly goods and calling those to whom he was indebted or were indebted to him to his bedside to settle debts and forgive outstanding grievances, he summoned a priest to his bedside and requested the rites of the church. Seeing the priest the people joined the procession to the bedside where they took their part in the service from memory having participated from early childhood. Having received the sacraments, the dying man lay with his head to the east, and either crossed his arms on his chest or spread them out to the side in the configuration of a cross and waited for death. Dying was simple and occurred in the home. The primary concern was the well being of the community.

Religious belief was that the dead were merely asleep and waiting for the second coming of Christ. The human body was not considered sacred or revered in any way. The common resting place was an unmarked charnel house or common grave outside the walls of a church.

Change occurred slowly but around 1100 AD Christian belief began to focus on the individual soul as the prize in an ongoing cosmic struggle in which Satan and St. Peter struggled for the soul of man. Aries called this era that of ‘My Death’. What was considered important was how one died which influenced one’s future afterlife. Thus the ‘dying well’ or ‘Ars Moriendi’ came to primacy as one faced their own demise.What was then important was how the dying faced death. Several books on the subject were made available and great attention was paid to preparing for death. Cadavers rose in import and were interred inside church walls, that is, inside the walls surrounding the church grounds, and were sometimes marked with a single stone. Members of the aristocracy and clergy might be buried inside the church proper.

In the 1700’s a noticeable shift occurred with importance being placed on ‘the death of the other’ which Aries labeled ‘Thy Death’. Death still occurred in the home in the company and care of loved ones and came to be romanticized as a separation of loved ones from each other. A cult of ‘beautification’ developed that saw the introduction of mourning clothes and prescribed periods of mourning for each sex. Women came to wear black for one year followed by dark purple for another two. Men wore black or a black armband. Church graveyards had become crowded and often unsanitary. Civic cemeteries were created in park like areas. Ornamentation on grave stones became symbolic and often complex. It became common to commission an artist to design and sculpt a unique marker that reflected the social standing and wealth of the individual while professing the love of the community.

In the 1900’s, particularly after the first world war (1914 - 1918) death attitudes changed again to what Aries refers to as the era of ‘Death Denied’ or Invisible Death’. The causalities of war strained the ability of society to provide elaborate individual funeral services and there simply was no time to mourn in the urgency of war. This period saw the development of embalming and the slow evolution of carpenters and horsemen to professional ‘morticians’. Care and burial of the body was entrusted to others in the new ‘death industry’.

Health care began to rise and traditional causes of death began a slow change that accelerated in mid century as childhood diseases came under control and antibiotics were developed. Advances in medical technology, particularly the development of the respirator, meant that death could now be delayed and occurred in hospital following a ‘great war against death’.

Changes in demography resulted in families being separated, children were no longer the first to die, degenerative diseases slowly attacked the aged. The concept of ‘mass death and destruction’ brought about by the threat of nuclear, chemical and biological warfare tended to desensitize individuals to death as did the rise in violence in entertainment. Death occurred in silence, almost in secret as ‘a dirty thing’ or ‘medical defeat’, something to be ashamed of and avoided rather than a natural occurrence. Cemeteries became ‘Memorial Gardens’ where upright monuments were prohibited in place of flat headstones.

Internment has been replaced with cremation by up to 80% in some parts of the world (London, England) and ‘Memorial Services’, sometimes held several weeks after the death, have become more common. Wakes or ‘receptions’ in the family home have been moved to ‘reception centers’ run by funeral homes and catered by professionals. ‘Direct Disposal’ is a service offered that provides transportation of the body directly from the place of death, usually a hospital of infirmary, to a crematorium. No religious or spiritual service occurs. Death is now invisible and we are in the era Aries refers to as ‘Invisible Death’. from http://counselingceusonline.com/grief_&_loss.htm